REVIEW: Resident Evil (2026) “Hey Zach, What the F#%K!!??”
Words can’t describe how hard I’ve been looking forward to this one. As a massive fan of the Resident Evil series and stone cold hater of every previous attempts at filmic adaptations that I never bothered to watch, there was a lot of to look forward to. Fresh off of the success of his Oscar winning Weapons, writer/director Zach Cregger chose to take on an original approach to Capcom’s beloved franchise as his “one for me” project. A true enthusiast of the games, he made the (in my opinion brilliant) choice to choose a fresh protagonist that just happens to be running around Raccoon City parallel to the events in the core narrative.
So how was it?
Well, spoiler alert…there’s no Jill sandwich. Bummer.
The plot couldn’t be more straightfoward as we follow medical courier Bryan (Austin Abrams) tasked with delivering an unknown item to a general hospital in Raccoon City. From there, things go from bad to worse as he has to essentially navigate a series of terrifying set pieces along the way; each one more tense than the last and all of them beautifully thought out. That’s it. And it’s in that nonstop escalation where this movie is truly at its best, with the simplicity bordering on elegance in what is perhaps Resident Evil’s greatest strength. Unfortunately, it ultimately plays a large part in what winds up being an overall crippling weakness that honestly left me a bit baffled as well.
But first, let’s get what works out of the way, because wow there sure is a lot to love here. For one thing, this is one stunningly gorgeous movie top to bottom. Everything on the technical side is absolutely killer, delivering beautiful cinematography, expertly paced editing, stirring sound design and overall highly effective visual effects. It really is a testament to Cregger’s taste level, pouring concrete on his status as a master of craftsmanship. The guy knows how to take pretty pictures and has a real knack for timing. There was a moment early on in the movie that provided legitimate goosebumps on my arms not from any jump scare but from the overall mood and dread that was captured. Take some highly effective moments of horror (mostly involving a creature pulled directly out of another video game, Inside) punctuated by a few very funny jokes (“she keeps doing that”) and everything was off to a promising start.
But unfortunately all of this goodwill and sophisticated filmmaking is ruined by one irreparable error. To the point where, I honestly don’t think I’ll ever watch it again. Let's put it this way: By the time you’ve heard your main character say “What the fuck!?” (or some variation of it) about 50 times and only 20 minutes into the runtime (with 75 to go), what on paper looked like a lean machine quickly becomes a chore. This may not be an issue for some, a sentiment reflected by it’s current critical 96% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. But for me personally it became an absolute disaster of a distraction, taking me right out of the movie over and over again. I mean, how can you edit this thing together and not to think to yourself “Maybe we should cut that back a little?”
Here’s my theory of what happened: Intending to keep things as straightforward as possible, Cregger essentially drafted a blueprint for the actual events of the story and slapped in one character driven, dialogue filled scene for each of the 3 main acts. In these scenes, everything is working fine but for the rest (and majority) of the screen time, he seemingly just filmed Abrams’ improvised reactions to the nonstop horror. This wound up resulting in the character becoming one note very quickly, leading to you wishing that he had some actual lines to say. Maybe this was rationalized by the train of thought that well, were you thrown into circumstances such as these you wouldn’t be quippy or well spoken. Fair enough. But that doesn’t justify the fact that there are also more than a handful of intended jokes that fall real flat and are in most cases instantly repeated as if to say “Did ya get it?”
So what about the Resident Evilness of it all? Well let’s try and wrap things up on a high note because this is an element that absolutely knocks it out of the park with the body horror and then some. What we’ve got here is RE by way of John Carpenter’s The Thing and let me tell you, that is one seriously clever match made in Hell. Along with some subtle fan service (mostly involving save rooms and acquiring items), anyone who’s ever given a game in the series a play through will find a grin on their face more than a few times. Cregger even steps up the oh noes in a couple of scenes involving a frightened little girl and a full blown maternity ward where you find yourself thinking “Oh my God is he gonna do it?” Then yep, he totally does it. In fact, in many ways the tagline on the poster should say “From the director of the 2nd half of Barbarian” because the dude really cuts loose. And how’s this for faithfulness? The movie even provides everyone’s favorite longstanding tradition of games in the series gradually transitioning from highly effective horror to half baked science fiction. Get ready, because holy shit that final scene in the laboratory is real bad.
It’s almost like this thing is making fun of Resident Evil while being a true Resident Evil. Kinda weird.
The car alarms going off in this scene every time a body landed on it was truly exceptional.
I’m still looking forward to anything that Zach Cregger puts his name on. And optimistically, maybe this third at bat is something he needed to get out of his system? Kind of in the same way Magnolia was polarizing but man, look at how PTA’s work skyrocketed after that. We’ll see. For now, calling this the best Resident Evil ever isn’t exactly high praise but certainly accurate. In many ways, this is the perfect adaptation of the series. Unfortunately, it would be a lot better with the sound off.
