PSA: Super Hang-On Was a Secret Switch 2 Launch Game!? (This is NOT a Drill)
We interrupt our unintentionally lengthy hiatus in blog content to bring you the following: For the first time since the Wii Virtual Console and stereoscopic 3DS Arcade series, Super Hang-On is once again playable on a Nintendo system. That’s right, the stone cold motorbike racing classic is back in full on HD glory and playable now on the Switch 2. This is a game that belongs on the Mount Rushmore of Sega’s late 80’s/early 90’s output. A game that no self respecting arcade is complete without. And mysteriously, also a game whose cheese was left out in the wind by flying under the radar without any formal Switch 2 launch announcement whatsoever. Looks like we’ll just have to take it from here.
You. Reading this. Yeah, you. This is some serious shit ok?
First we gotta get the one big, stinky caveat out of the way. Yes, the good news is that this game is technically out there for Switch 2 owners to enjoy any time they want. Complete with border options, widescreen/full screen/original ratio support, analogue/d-pad control schemes, CRT scans and all of your typical quality of nerd life demands. However, the bad news is…oh boy how shall I put this…well, you’re going to have throw down a good chunk of cash and put some real work into a completely unrelated game in order to get to it.
Along with OutRun, Space Harrier and Fantasy Zone, Super Hang-On is an unlockable bonus game in Yakuza 0: Director’s Cut which was a launch title for the Switch 2. Pleading ignorance, this is a series of games that I was unfamiliar with and went into completely blind but assumed was just another GTA clone. Y’know, your typical open world with lots of violence and sketchy activity going down while you murder and maim your way up the ranks of the criminal underworld. And it pretty much is for the most part. What it also is is not a good one of those and a serious slog, full of nonstop seemingly never-ending cutscenes and excruciatingly repetitive combat. Both of which I’m pretty sure put the pedal to the metal in accelerating some carpal tunnel syndrome that I’m positive is now in the mail.
Located across the various regions that the game has to offer are Sega Arcades where the aforementioned retro titles have their cute little cabinets set up. A couple of them are ready to play as soon as you step foot through the door but Super Hang-On is actually the reward for completing a side quest that involves befriending an employee and crushing her high scores in the game. So you see, after playing through nearly half of the main game, you’ll still need to complete several additional tasks before this beauty is all yours. Ok, Yakuza 0…OK.
I’m sure it’s obvious by now but whoever the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks the demographic is that the Yakuza series is geared toward sure isn’t this guy. I borderline hated muscling through the nearly 7 hours it took in order to get to that glorious pixelated title screen. But longtime readers of my tenures at Nintendorks.com, Nintendorks.net, Shigeruslist.com, my tumblr site, Twitter page, probably Livejournal and many other residents of an entire digital graveyard of various blog sites know real well: I love Super Hang-On in ways that apparently include outright masochism. Oh, I should do one of those quote thingies with that line:
I love Super Hang-On in ways that apparently include outright masochism.
So here’s what I kept telling myself: Do you really want to dig out and plug the Wii back in just to play it in SD? And where where did you even last see your 3DS? Target sent you a free $50 eShop card which covers the cost so Yakuza is basically free. And all you have to do is pretend you’re essentially playing through a long, unenjoyable demo to get to it. Not to mention the fact that it doesn’t look like M2 will be getting off of their butts and porting it as part of their Sega Ages line anytime soon.
“C’moooon, just do it. It will be worth it…”
And of course, after all those hours of irritation, involuntary swearing and stress snacking became a distant memory. And once my television finally filled the room with the warm glow of that attract mode and those beautiful chiptune melodies…
…it totally was.
As a generous bonus to today’s rant, here’s a clip that documents the history of this fabled arcade title. So while that download takes its sweet time downloading, you can educate yourself on some Super Hang-On.
This is my culture, people
